Toolkit - Yoga

I’m launching into the toolkit element of Being & Able with a biggie! I have no doubt that for many people living with chronic pain and disability just the word and idea of Yoga is scary as heck. Bear with me, keep an open mind and read on …

I had dabbled with yoga in small ways between 2003 and 2007: introduced to it by a couple of flatmates during my first year of University I bought a 10 Minute Yoga book and tried a few classes but nothing really clicked. Then in the winter of 2007 I went to India and everything changed.

For a bit of context, in July 2006 I had undergone a major operation for my third leg lengthening procedure. The problems I was experiencing with chronic back pain and episodes of being completely laid up because of it were having a severe impact on my quality of life and the operation was planned for as soon as I graduated from University. The concern that my tibia wouldn’t withstand a third lengthening procedure led us to using an ISKD rod, an internal device, inserted instead into my left femur. The recovery had been slow and painful but by summer 2007 the desired length had been reached and healing had been going well. My Consultant H had no objections to me going to India and with glee I began planning the trip with my friend, intending to try some yoga while we were there.

In October 2007 we found ourselves in Rishikesh. We knew there was a plethora of yoga on offer there and took our time deciding what style we wanted and which school we liked the look of. What stole our hearts was an introductory lecture we attended by a very traditional school that taught Hatha, where we knew we’d be getting much more than a physical workout – there was also a strong focus on yogic philosophy, history and complimentary practices such as Ayurveda.

In our first class proper we were to start with Uttanasana – the forward fold. At the time it was horrendous – I couldn’t do it. Trying to bend forward and get my hands flat to the floor was just not happening. At best my hands were hovering a couple of inches above my knees and it was agony. I could feel my face burning and tears of frustration and anger building up – why couldn’t I do this? Why was my back so rubbish that this was as far as I could get? And if I couldn’t do this, how the hell was I going to manage anything more complicated or difficult? After what felt like an eternity I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore but I was so mortified that a) I was “failing” and b) I was crying about it so I got up, walked out and burst into tears outside instead. One of the instructors followed me and was so kind and compassionate, reassuring me that we could make adjustments and that it was only the first day after all and I was probably expecting too much of myself! I was coaxed back in and the first of many adjustments was made – we piled a stack of yoga mats up to the height I needed and as my body adjusted, my back eased into it and my hamstrings loosened up and we slowly, slowly removed a mat at a time until bingo – my hands were on the floor. This time the tears that flowed were of joy and relief. I’d done it! I’d started about as far away from the asana as possible but perseverance had bought me to it. More importantly, I appreciated the journey my body had been on to get there and how unfounded my fears had been – I hadn’t taken months to get there, I hadn’t made my pain worse and in actual fact my body and pain levels were much improved from when I’d started. 

There were many postures I struggled with – sarvangasana (shoulder stand) was only achievable if I started with my legs up a wall and then used what little core strength I had to move away from it and maintain the posture as normal. My own inhibitions meant I never attempted sirsasana (headstand) and anything that involved balancing on one leg at a time was a no go. But I lovedit. Loved how I saw and felt my body changing, strengthening and healing. Loved the serenity and peace of mind it gave me.

I kept my practice up for a pretty long time once home but it slowly petered off and by the time I slipped the disc in my back in early 2010 I’d not long found a great class in Manchester that I had to give up. The slipped disc meant that even the gentlest of practises made the spasms far worse and it was a good couple of years before I could really think about getting back on the mat. Now back in Leicestershire I had some one to one lessons with a very adapted form of yoga that was focusing on getting some strength into my back and arms. I referred back to my class materials from India and practised when I felt able.

When I began working again a couple of years ago I knew one of the first things I wanted to do was start setting aside some money to go on a yoga retreat. I loved the idea of spending a week doing yoga with likeminded people, in a lovely (preferably sunny and warm) location and kick-starting my practice again. And last September I did exactly that. I went to Ibiza for a 5-day retreat and had the absolute time of my life. I was really upfront with the company I booked with about my health and actually came very close to cancelling altogether when in the months leading up to the trip my walking deteriorated and my pain increased. I still felt I’d benefit from going though and am so glad I did! Lucy, who organised the retreat, and Leanna, who was the yoga instructor leading the classes were so accommodating. I got to spend some one on one time with Leanna working out how I could ease through some of the transitions and had their full support to do as much or as little as I felt able to. I only went to one of the morning classes – I tend to have high levels of pain first thing in the morning and can be very stiff. Instead I gave myself permission to rest and sleep for as long as necessary in a way I wouldn’t at home and felt much better for it. Amazingly the one morning class I did go to was the least attended, due to a Full Moon ceremony we’d had the night before which some of the group went out to celebrate and were sleeping off – great for me as it meant we all got more one to one time with Leanna! The evening classes were a little gentler which suited me better and I was so proud at the end of the week that I had gotten through every single one. There was a lot of time spent in childs pose and in one class that I found particularly challenging I got some bolsters, set myself up in what’s commonly known as restorative yoga and focused on my breathing and letting my body be supported and relaxed. It was all yoga though – it all counts!

And this really brings me to the point of this first entry into the toolkit – yoga is for everyone. There are always adaptations that can be made. Yoga doesn’t have to be the super strong flows that Instagram is flooded with, which tend to be either Vinyasa or Ashtanga in form. Hatha, Yin and Restorative are more focused on taking time to fully ease into one asana at a time and, particularly in the case of Restorative, making use of equipment such as bolsters, blocks and cushions to support the body through the process. These can be beautifully relaxing, as well as continuing to gently challenge the body to ease into stretches, and offer the chance to really connect to your body. One of the biggest misconceptions about yoga is that you have to be flexible to do it - this is so far from the truth! Yoga will actually gently help you develop flexibility, as well as building strength. Yoga is also where I learned to breathe properly but Breathwork is going to form a separate toolkit entry so for now, just know that learning the basics of yogic breathing can be also be transformational!

There are many teachers who offer chair yoga videos that can be found online, which is especially useful if you are wheelchair bound or simply unable to get on and off the floor. As well as online videos there are also an increasing number of yoga practitioners who are choosing to teach modified classes for people with disabilities or chronic pain. There are so many ways of getting involved with yoga, even if you are largely housebound. A quick search online will bring a plethora of results but to get you started, here are some of my top tips:

Yoga With Adriene is possibly my absolute favourite online resource – her fun, relaxed presentation style is a breath of fresh air but my goodness does she know her stuff! On her free YouTube channel there are a couple of seated/chair yoga routines and a gentle wheelchair one too, which are well worth checking out. She also offers routines for specific ailments – Yoga for Scoliosis, Sciatica and Lower Back Pain are three videos I return to again and again.

Annie Clarke – Annie has a lovely teaching style and I particularly like her Yoga at your Desk and How to use Yoga Props videos.

Movement for Modern Life - MML has a vast array of videos which are helpfully searchable by yoga style, length, teacher, level, emotion and best of all - benefit, which includes a 'Limited Mobility' filter. MML is a paid for service but you can begin with a 14 day free trial to try it out and see if it works for you.

I'd love to hear about your experiences with yoga or any recommendations you have too so please get involved! 

Main image: Photo by Dane Wetton on Unsplash