Mental Health — Writing — Small Steps To Freedom

ME/CFS Awareness

28 September 2015. When I look at this photo all I can see is the sheer exhaustion I was feeling at the time, not fully understanding why it was something that seemed to seep to the very core of my being.

I was 2 months post-op at this point, my body having undergone trauma as my femur broke after surgery, which then required further surgery. I was on a number of pain meds, including morphine. I thought it was just taking a long time for my body to recover, adjust to the meds and for my energy levels to come back up.

By Christmas I was falling asleep literally sat upright and mid-conversation with people and something didn’t feel right. I’d had 24 years worth of experience in operations, strong medication and post-op recoveries by this point and this was just … different.

Body, Mental HealthShanna BhambraMay 12, 2021ME/CFS, Chronic Fatigue, Chronic IllnessComment

Lockdown Loneliness

It hit me hardest during my first week of self-isolation. The sudden realisation that when all this is over and some sort of “normal” life resumes, people will be back out there, going to work, socialising and filling their days again. As things currently stand though, this is my normal. And I’m really lucky – I’m pretty mobile these days, actively job-hunting and looking forward to changes that will soon see me less housebound. But that day the weight of the realisation that this is actually all pretty standard for me was crushing.

Personal, Mental HealthShanna BhambraApril 9, 2020loneliness, lonely, isolation, disability, lockdown, mental health, chronic pain, chronic illnessComment

My Breaking Point and Mental Health Recovery

In the summer of 2013 I was nearing the completion of my Masters in Art Museum and Gallery Studies at the University of Leicester. In theory it should have been one of the happiest times for me … Getting back to studying in 2012/13 was a dream come true: I loved my course, I made some great friends and having improved somewhat physically was able to have some kind of social life again.

What I kept hidden from all but a handful of people was the true cost of that “progression”. Studying full-time was the hardest task I had undertaken in a long time: it drained me, physically and mentally.