Meeting Myself Where I'm At
One of the agreements I’ve come to with myself around my move is to meet myself where I’m at.
When I lived independently before I had no true concept of pacing, or of the damage I was doing to myself physically when trying to push through the pain of my slipped disc to just keep going. Trying to cook, clean, shop and care for myself took an enormous toll when I wouldn’t accept help, or even the notion, that I just wasn’t managing anymore.
A decade on I’d like to think I’m older and wiser …
Read More
The Joy of Books
I thought it might be nice to have a bit of levity and focus occasionally on the things I’m finding cheering and joyful, rather than lots of resources and things for you to be *doing*. Some of my earliest memories are of books and they have been a constant source of comfort, hilarity, tears and happiness throughout my life.
Read More
My Journey with Pacing
It took until I was in my late teens or early twenties before the concept of a ‘boom and bust’ cycle became part of the pacing vocabulary, and although the idea was talked about theoretically that doing too much led to me doing too little, all that really amounted to was trying to make sure I didn’t fall into the trap of doing absolutely nothing on recovery days. Ideas such as baselines were still not in the picture and I was still clueless about pacing my actual activities.
In all I probably spent about fifteen years trying to figure out pacing on my own: no small ask!
Read More
Lockdown Loneliness
It hit me hardest during my first week of self-isolation. The sudden realisation that when all this is over and some sort of “normal” life resumes, people will be back out there, going to work, socialising and filling their days again. As things currently stand though, this is my normal. And I’m really lucky – I’m pretty mobile these days, actively job-hunting and looking forward to changes that will soon see me less housebound. But that day the weight of the realisation that this is actually all pretty standard for me was crushing.
Read More
Managing Medications for Pain Relief
What actually prompted this post is the fact that a few weekends ago, I ran out of two of my pain meds. I messed up and so did my GP in changing the quantities I was prescribed, which unfortunately I didn’t catch in time. I had 3-4 days of withdrawal effects as I was essentially going cold turkey – never, ever, ever recommended. It took the better part of a week to get back to ‘normal’; however one thing I did note was that I had absolutely no increase in pain levels.
Read More
My Breaking Point and Mental Health Recovery
In the summer of 2013 I was nearing the completion of my Masters in Art Museum and Gallery Studies at the University of Leicester. In theory it should have been one of the happiest times for me … Getting back to studying in 2012/13 was a dream come true: I loved my course, I made some great friends and having improved somewhat physically was able to have some kind of social life again.
What I kept hidden from all but a handful of people was the true cost of that “progression”. Studying full-time was the hardest task I had undertaken in a long time: it drained me, physically and mentally.
Read More
Overcoming Fears and Self-Doubt
The year definitely seems to be speeding by and so much has happened since my last update. On the one hand there have been a few events I have been to that have been infinitely inspiring and strengthened my resolve and desires to see this blog grow into something much bigger; on the other hand I have spent most of the last four months crippled by self-doubt and writers block.
Read More
Looking Back Over 2018
2018 turned out to be a pretty big year for me, on all fronts, so I thought it would be nice to mark its passing with some reflection. It wasn’t an easy year and seemed to mostly stay at the furthest ends of the spectrum – either the highest of highs or lowest of lows. But I think I learned more about myself this past year than any other in recent history and I ended it feeling more at peace and content than I have for a very long time.
Read More
My Yoga With Adriene roadshow experience
Last Tuesday I fulfilled a long held dream and went to Alexandra Palace to practice yoga with Adriene Mishler - of Yoga With Adriene fame – as her European roadshow hit the UK and had the most incredible night. I’m not sure my words will do it justice but I really wanted to share it with you and highlight some of what I took away from the night.
Read More
Moving into Alignment - the Physical, Emotional and Mental Bodies
One of the more difficult and frustrating issues with my lack of a complete diagnosis is that there is no way to know if my physical health is going to get any better – or indeed, any worse. As those living with disability or chronic illness and pain know all too well, what happens in the physical body has an impact on the emotional and mental bodies too.
Read More
